


Under the Burning Skies

by lesbiansamstiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AND GAY, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Sastiel Secret Santa 2019, Snow, Winter, lapland is romantic, sastiel takes a holiday, this fic is in both of their povs bc w h y not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21978076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbiansamstiel/pseuds/lesbiansamstiel
Summary: Castiel takes Sam for a vacation to Lapland. They end up realizing more than just that they were in dire need for a holiday.
Relationships: Castiel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	Under the Burning Skies

Sam’s shoulder-length hair is glittering with snowflakes as he moves around the wintery landscape, excitement in his eyes and his steps quick and soft at the same time. This is not Sam’s first time seeing snow, but it is surely the first time he sees the northern sunset, the hills, the snow that continues so far you can’t see the end of it. Sam’s eyes are glittering, like the snow, but Cas is not sure whether it’s caused by the lights and the snowy reflection or something else. 

He didn’t plan this trip for long, only after one night in Sam’s room when they saw a glimpse of a movie on the TV, one where the characters were snowboarding in a place like this, and Sam stopped on that channel for a second longer than on the others he browsed through. Cas looked at Sam, then, and noticed something similar to the expression he is seeing now and decided that he wanted to see more of that. He thought, maybe some time he could surprise Sam. 

Now, here they were. In Lapland, in December, surrounded by snowy trees and hills and a beautiful pink sunset everywhere, colliding with the blueness of the sky above. The snow reflects the sunlight and everything around them turns into a blushing pink. It’s so quiet. Peaceful. Cas notices Sam taking a deep breath and that as he lets it out, the air turns into a cloud in the space between them. 

“What are we doing here, Cas?” Sam asks and turns to look at Cas with awe and uncertainty in his eyes.

“People usually come to places like this for a vacation. I thought that we could- No, we are taking a vacation,” Cas scans the surrounding area as he answers.

They are standing at a trail leading to a hotel-like building that is surrounded by many cabins all around it, both on the hills and under the hills. Up on the biggest hill stand a bigger building and many ski slopes. Near the building closest to them, Cas sees signs pointing at different directions, guiding all travelers to ice igloos, ski center, rental cars and reception.

“Cas –“ Sam starts.

Cas can hear that he is resisting the urge to stay here and he can imagine all the things Sam would say next. None of them matter.

“You have been tiring yourself endlessly for the past weeks, months. I’m taking matters into my own hands,” Cas says firmly.

He crosses his arms to signal that he’s not budging on this and wonders why a faint smile appears on Sam’s face.

“Okay, but… why here?” Sam takes a few steps, making a half circle with his shoes on the snow. 

Cas notices that Sam is cold and shivering. He realizes that the temperature here is below zero. How did he not prepare for this? Although, telling Sam to wear warm clothes would’ve taken the surprise element out of this surprise. By now, Sam was used to Cas dragging him along with him whenever he relocates, but there were minor issues still; sometimes Sam couldn’t sleep the following night, other times he felt ill, but more often it had to do with them ending up in the middle of dangerous, life-threatening situations. Cas begins to fear that this was a bad idea after all.

“I’ve heard that a change of scenery is refreshing” Cas says fighting the fear, and referencing something Sam had said a while back when they took a day-trip to the countryside. Sam nods with a smile. His neck and hands are beginning to turn pinkish red, and not just because of the sunset – which is beginning to be over, it’s getting dark on rapid speed. 

A family of three walks past them, heading to the big building, speaking loudly. The child turns to look at them strangely when they’ve passed by.

“We stand out. We need proper clothes. Should I get some?” Cas asks as he scans Sam’s body for more visible signs of discomfort. 

“Oh, and you disappearing to thin air wouldn’t stand out? No. Let’s just rent a car,” Sam smiles and nods towards the building. Cas agrees. Going for a drive will be familiar and warmer than standing around in the snow. 

_Sam, 22. Dec. evening – 23. Dec. evening_

Sam has never before been abroad or this far away from Dean. It feels freeing. The cold wind and snow brushing against his face. None of this feels real, and the world around him looks, smells and feels different than it did a few minutes ago. Sam wonders if it would be possible that he is dreaming all of this. He wonders how Castiel had found this place, or if he just randomly sent them here, and what is the bigger reason behind all this. They’ve never been abroad before, or on a vacation. 

They end up renting a car from the holiday “village” Castiel dropped them to. Sam notices that even the cars are different here. Older, smaller. On top of that, there’s barely any traffic. Sam feels like driving all night. He wonders where they would end up if he just kept driving. Everything looks exactly the same in a way that is not similar to driving across the US where everything also looks exactly the same wherever they go. Here, everything looks new, exciting, albeit things seem to follow a pattern; snow, fields, forest, lakes, gas stations, more forests and lakes and gas stations…

Eventually, after driving around northern Lapland all night, stopping at various spots to observe at the scenery or the local night-life from a tourist’s perspective, they rent a cabin from the place they first ended up at. Castiel is already attached to that place, clearly, since he wouldn’t agree to go anywhere else. It’s expensive as hell, like most things here are, at least compared to the US. They don’t have many cabins available on such short notice, and the receptionist seems really confused by how this unlikely pair ended up vacationing in Lapland but introduces both the cabins and the area very politely and informatively. Sam is continuously surprised how well everyone here understands English, and he’s not just thinking about the people who work there but passers-by, too. 

They rent the cheapest option free at this time for the next five days and get the keys immediately. The keychain has a wooden plate with a picture of a reindeer on it. Sam likes it and takes a mental note to go see reindeers at some point of their stay. 

As they walk back to the car and move it to a parking lot near a forest that their cabin is close to, Sam realizes that the walk is quite long and remembers that he still doesn’t have any warm clothes. He looks at Castiel, who is admiring the view, and considers his offer to get him clothes. Preferably Sam’s own clothes. 

But he doesn’t want Cas to leave. He doesn’t want Castiel to run into Dean and regret the trip. He doesn’t want to have to feel uncertain about whether he will come back. He decides to survive the cold walk to the cabin and buy a new jacket and better shoes the following day. 

It’s a small cabin made of logs. There is a small bathroom and two rooms: the big room with the kitchenette and living space and a small room at the back with a small double bed and one drawer on the side of the room, with a box of chocolates on it. The bedsheets are red and golden, kind of tacky, but really wonderful at the same time. There are two small windows in the whole cabin, and a fireplace near the kitchenette, next to the door to the bedroom. The cabin has two electric ceiling lamps and a power plug for electric devices. Sam’s devices aren’t fit for these wall plugs, which is why, on their way here, they stopped at a grocery store by a gas station and Sam bought an adapter. He also bought a map and some food. 

“This is… ascetic,” Sam says, as he walks in the cabin, at the same thinking that it’s all is so much better than any crappy motel room he has ever been to. Maybe it’s the snow and the nature they’re surrounded by that’s making everything feel authentic and fresh.

Castiel smiles and Sam lets out a deep breath. He sits on the sofa in the living space and places his backpack by his feet. After sitting there for a while, trying to gather his thoughts, he sees that a puddle of water has built up under his shoes. He kicks off his shoes and throws them near the front door. Castiel follows his lead and then sits next to him.

“What do you want to do next?” He asks. Sam feels puzzled. This was Castiel’s idea, his trip. He should decide.

“Um. Sleep?”

Castiel nods. They look at each other. 

“It’s pretty cold. We should light up the fireplace.” Sam turns to look across the room at the fireplace and sees that there is wood, old newspapers and a lighter next to it.

Castiel nods again. Sam stands up and steps right in the puddle from his shoes. He sighs and takes off his socks. The floor makes his feet cold. Actually, his whole body is cold. And he’s hungry. He takes some wood from the pile next to the fireplace and places them in carefully. He stuffs some paper from the same pile in there, as well, and sets one paper on fire and throws it in. 

All the while doing this, he can feel Castiel’s eyes on his back, making him feel a little nervous. His hands are cold and stiff, but he manages to do everything without embarrassing himself, and the fire spreads in the fireplace swiftly. After closing the hatch, he walks to the kitchenette, Castiel’s eyes still glued to his back. He takes the grocery bags and places them on the counter. Castiel follows him and soon they stand next to each other by the fridge as Sam fills it with his groceries.

After dealing with the groceries and dumping the plastic bag under the counter, Sam turns around to face Castiel, who is looking at him attentively. Castiel is standing really close to him, radiating warmth. Maybe Sam is just so cold. Sam leans against the counter behind him and thinks about eating something soon. Maybe the weird cheese curd block and cloudberry jam like suggested by the shop assistant. He is drawn to Castiel’s eyes, though, and they stand there in comfortable silence for a brief moment. 

“You should warm up by the fire,” Castiel says suddenly, but doesn’t move.

Sam nods. “Yeah. I’m freezing.”

Castiel places his hand on Sam’s forehead.

“You’re colder than I thought. I’ll bring you blankets. Boil you some tea.”

Castiel’s hand feels like a radiator and Sam leans in, pushing his cold skin against Castiel’s hand. Okay. Yeah, this is normal. Not only did the receptionist possibly think they were a couple eloping to Lapland, now he’s being pampered by Castiel, as well, and wishing he never had to return to his normal life. And this is Lapland. He’s never dreamt of visiting Lapland or any cold, dark place like this. Now it feels like every dream come true. And when Castiel takes off his hand, Sam catches himself feeling disappointed. 

When he looks outside the window, he sees a surprising amount of light, considering it’s this late in the evening. It’s all green and purple and beautiful outside. It really is like from a dream. Part of him wants to go see the lights, but Castiel is already by the sofa, pulling out the blankets and throwing the pillows around. A bigger part of him wants to stay indoors. Sam sighs and feels lightheaded as he walks to the couch, ready to be covered by warmth. 

_Castiel, 23. Dec. night to 24. Dec. morning_

The night is long, calm, and snow keeps falling slowly all night. The little lamps on the yard shine through the snowfall and the bedroom window. They make the snowflakes glimmer.

Last night, they ended up sleeping in the same bed because Sam felt so cold that Cas wanted to keep an eye on him. In the end, Cas kept both of his eyes on Sam all night long, touching his face every once in a while to measure his temperature. Under the blankets and next to Cas, Sam slowly warmed up during the dark hours, and the cabin got warmer and warmer, too. The fireplace was lit until early morning when it finally burned out. 

Sam wakes up when the sun is already setting, around one in the afternoon. He looks around, confusedly, and then at Cas, who smiles at the sight of a relaxed, sleepy Sam with messy hair wearing a worn-out t-shirt. Cas touches Sam’s face.

“You’re no longer cold.” 

“That’s good. We can go out and buy me a jacket today, huh?”

Cas nods. His hand is still on Sam, holding the side of his face, fingers on his temple and his hair. Sam leans his head against his hand and Cas feels warm. He feels like he has a purpose. His purpose is to make Sam feel this way, safe and protected, as much as he can. Cas can feel Sam smile against his palm and then moving his head enough for his lips and nose to touch Cas’ hand. Sam gives the quickest little peck on Cas’ palm and then gets up from the bed. 

Cas stays in the bed for a while, just to think. Suddenly a realization hits him. 

He realizes that, in human terms, he loves Sam. In angel terms, he loves Sam, too. There’s no other explanation for all this need for closeness and the want to help and protect Sam. He feels so good when he makes Sam smile, he felt the butterflies he’s heard people talking about when Sam kissed his hand, and sometimes when they cuddle in bed or while watching TV. From what Cas understands of humans, these feelings of love, the kind you see on TV and in books and songs, humans crave to feel all their lives. And for most people, these feelings are the greatest gift you can get. And Cas feels that way, too. He feels so lucky to love Sam, because Sam deserves all the love. And he can’t seem to stop smiling.

So, Cas smiles and gets up from the bed, following Sam into the other room. It’s cold in the bigger room and Cas considers lighting up the fireplace. He decides not to do it, at least not yet. He much liked to see Sam do it the previous night, he looked so comfortable and homey. Cas sits down on a chair by the dinner table and watches as Sam gets himself a mug of water.

“You’re smiling disturbingly big. What’s up, Cas?” Sam asks, sounding amused, and takes a sip of the water.

Without a second’s hesitation Cas answers:

“I love you, Sam.”

Sam chokes on his water, spits in the mug and coughs. 

_Sam 23. Dec. night to 24. Dec. morning_

That morning when Sam woke up, he did so easily and well rested. Actually, he slept better than maybe ever before. It really was true, how they say “out of sight, out of mind”, Sam thought. He felt so free from his crappy everyday life, the job, everything bad and depressing. Almost like all this wasn’t his real life. Waking up to see Castiel felt pretty great, too. As soon as he saw the angel, Sam needed to double-check that this was real, and not a trap or a djinn dream or anything, so he looked around, taking in the details, thinking about how he should probably let Dean know where he was. 

Sam’s face was soon touched by Castiel and he felt himself blush. He was perfectly fine and no longer felt cold, but it was nice to be taken care of. Castiel had told him what he already knew, that he didn’t feel cold anymore and Sam had replied something. He couldn’t believe it was true that Castiel stayed for the whole night, or at least came back in the morning. Sam just could not believe it. Castiel felt like the real Castiel, though. And none of this felt fake. He decided he would call Dean later when it was morning in the US, just to be safe.

Castiel didn’t take his hand off Sam’s face. Sam felt comforted by the touch, and he noticed just how starved for physical contact he had been for so long. Especially for physical contact this tender, this soft. He leaned into the touch, hoping the angel wouldn’t let go just yet. 

Before he could think, there was a smile on his face, and he couldn’t help but kiss Castiel’s hand quickly. This led to a brief panic during which he moved away from the hand touching his face and rushed to get up from the bed. His mouth had gone all dry, so he paced to the kitchen sink.

Only a couple minutes later, Sam is choking on his water and coughing. Did Castiel really say that? Sam stands there, holding the mug he spat in, looking at Castiel. Castiel looks back at him, still smiling, although not as wide as earlier. Sam tries to say something but can’t think of anything, so he just opens his mouth, let’s out a little “wh-“ and closes his mouth again. 

Castiel stands up and walks up to him, coming just as close as he is accustomed to. Sam stares into his eyes, trying to understand.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Castiel says and his eyebrows turn downwards, forming a small frown that creates a wrinkle between his eyes.

“No, no, you didn’t,” Sam replies, “I’m just not sure I heard you right.”

“I said ‘I love you’”, Castiel repeats clearly, steady and confident. He looks deep into Sam’s eyes. When Sam looks back his heart does a little jump. “Does that upset you?”

“No,” Sam says abruptly. 

He swallows. He notices that he is still holding out the spit-mug and finally places it onto the counter next to him.

“It makes me happy to know that I love you,” Castiel continues, his eyes piercing Sam’s eyes that are now alternating between looking at Castiel’s eyes, eyebrows and the small wrinkle between them, his nose and his lips and then, again, his eyes. Castiel’s eyes seem to see into Sam, to see all of him at once.

“I- uh,” Sam begins, swallows again and shakes his head, having trouble coming up with words to describe his thoughts, “You’re an angel so I’m pretty much inclined to feel love towards you-“

“What do you mean?” Castiel tilts his head the tiniest amount, instinctively. Sam has told him it’s a little scary when he does that. Secretly he finds it cute. Sam looks at Castiel’s messy hair and pale ears now. He’s sure his own ears are blushing red.

“Well I mean… You- You’re a heavenly being. Of course I love you-”

“I don’t understand. You love me because I’m an angel?” 

Castiel looks confused, and maybe a little sad. Sam feels a twist in his stomach. What exactly is he trying to say and why did he say that?

“No, Cas. I’m sorry-“

“Sam. I just want you to be happy. You don’t need to explain anything.”

“No, I want to,” Sam says and tries to gather his thoughts, “I guess I got used to thinking about it that way. That my feelings for you were somehow explainable,” Sam sighs, trying to look at anything but Castiel. It’s hard when he’s taking about 80% of his field of view.

“And they’re not?” The angel has not moved an inch, his eyes still focused on Sam’s.

“I mean,” Sam leans to the counter with his hands and then stands straight immediately, “Explainable somehow else-“

“Sam,” Castiel says softly, “you don’t need to explain anything.”

“I want to,” Sam swallows again, his heart pounding loudly in his ears, and looks at Castiel’s eyebrows. “When you touch me, I feel safe, I want you to touch me- you make me smile more than anyone else does, I want to lean into you all the time, your warmth, I want you to stay with me. When you leave me, I feel e-“

“Sam,” Castiel interrupts him and the way he says Sam’s name is startling, “I want to kiss you.”

Sam’s heart is pounding too fast and he feels like he’s going to faint. He feels glued to the floor, his limbs and eyes feel heavy but his heart and chest full of air like he’s going to fly away through the roof at any moment, all at once.

“Can I kiss you?” Castiel asks, soft and quiet.

Sam takes a little while, then lets out a weak breath before he nods and whispers yes.

Castiel takes a small step, places a hand on Sam’s face and moves closer until their lips touch. Without thinking, Sam places his hands on Castiel’s waist pulls him against his body. They kiss slowly and tenderly at first, but the kiss builds up into a legitimate make-out session, and Sam’s heart is racing, he can feel it pounding inside his rib cage. Apparently, Castiel can feel it too; he places his left hand on Sam’s chest. Sam’s hands are on Castiel’s waist and his grip is tight, his thumbs pressing into Castiel’s sides. He wants to be closer.

Castiel’s right hand is still holding on to Sam’s face, slowly moving to the side of his jaw. Castiel pushes his fingers through Sam’s hair and touches the nape of his neck with his fingertips. This makes Sam shiver and suddenly he can’t breathe at all and has to lean back from the kiss. Sam rubs his nose against Cas’ nose. His heartbeat does not slow down.

He takes this moment to whisper against Castiel’s lips: “I love you too”.

Sam feels shivers again.

“I know,” Castiel whispers back.

Sam kisses him again and thinks to himself that with Castiel, anywhere could feel as peaceful as this cabin in cold and dark Lapland. Anywhere could be this dreamy. 

Then, he is lost in Castiel’s touch, his hands pulling him closer. Warm like sunshine.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this written as a Sastiel secret Santa gift for tumblr user fallthedorkwad! There is also the moodboard on the tumblr post but I don't think ao3 supports images? Or at least I don't know how to make it work...   
> Anyways, I hope you liked it!!


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